How to raise your IQ by eating Gifted Children


Cover of the book “How to raise your IQ by eating gifted children” by Lewis B. Frumkes

Do you know what the abbreviation IQ stand for?Do you even know what the word “abbreviation” means?If you are like us and find yourself unable (means lacking the skill!) to answer these questions, don’t get upset, because there is a cure out there. This remedy will give you the skill to answer this kind of questions and to solve even the most complexe questions given to you by the universe with ease. It will substantially increase your IQ (Intelligence Quotient) and make you a smartass whenever you need to be.

According to the newest groundbreaking studies led by Doctor Professor Lewis Burke Frumkes (who also happens to be a satirical writer), the only thing you have to do is to eat gifted children!Would you have thought that the solution would be that simple, just to good to be true?We thought that too at first. But we decided to put the book’s teachings into practice and to see it for ourselves.

The Test

It turned out that the solution isn’t that simple after all. While eating a gifted child is not a big deal, finding one can be a big issue!We had to go all the way to China to buy one at a local market for 200USD. They wanted to sell us 3 for the price for 2 but we didn’t know how to carry all the leftovers back home so we nicely declined.

Before actually eating the gifted boy, we decided to get our IQ tested beforehand so that we could compare the numbers later. Our IQ got rated between 70 and 80 which is pretty much average in our country. Then we prepared the steak  and served it in a nice garlic sauce with belgian fries and salad (our own recipe yummy).

The chinese boy was a little bit sweet in taste.  He tasted like a blend between beef (a cow), venison (deer) and chicken.  Some people say that the meat can vary in color depending on where it comes from. Older gifted children are considered to have the most tender meat.

The Effects

Right after eating the meat we started feeling a little bit dizzy because we started seeing all kind of numbers, hundreds of them…circulating in our heads and gradually turning into mathematical formulas. We couldn’t first understand what this was all about. But a few hours later we realised that these formulas represent the mathematical laws of the universe, breathtaking experience!From one moment to the next we were able to solve any mathematical task instantly and we found out that PI is not endless after all as it ends with a 7. We already knew that retaking the IQ test is obsolete as we could alreadz feel the difference, but we still decided to do it. This time we finished the Test in no time, beating our previous score by 140!IQ= 215!

Conclusion

Unfortunately, when we woke up the day after, we were as dumb as we were before eating the gifted boy. So this leaves us with a mixed review: While it’s true that eating gifted children raises your IQ tremendously, it’s unfortunately not very sustainable as the effects are just temporary. Then there is the Problem with finding a gifted child. Even if you cross the world to get one for yourself , you will need to go get one again, and again, and again. It’s going to be a neverending circle. Of course you could take advantage of the 3 for 2 offer at local markets but ultimately it’s not going to change anything about your situation: you will stay dumb, always.

 

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